The Cell Block Tango
by Diana the Actress
Summary: How could you tell me that I was wrong? ONESHOT, SONGFIC. T for suggestive lyrics.


_And now, the six merry murderesses of the Lima County Jail_

_In their rendition of the Cell Block Tango_

_Pop_

_Six_

_Squish_

_Ah ah_

_Cicero_

_Schuester_

_Pop_

_ Six_

_ Squish_

_ Ah ah_

_ Cicero_

_ Schuester_

_Pop_

_Six_

_Squish_

_Ah ah_

_Cicero_

_Schuester_

_ Pop_

_ Six_

_ Squish_

_ Ah ah_

_ Cicero_

_ Schuester_

_He had it comin'!_

_He had it comin'!_

_He only had himself to blame!_

_If you'd have been there,_

_If you'd have seen it,_

_I betcha you would have done the same!_

You know how people have these little habits

That get you down?

Like Mike.

Mike liked to chew gum.

No, not chew.

_Pop_.

So I came home this one day

And I am really irritated

And I'm looking for a bit of sympathy

And there's Mike.

Layin' on the couch and drinkin a beer

And chewing

No, not chewing.

_Popping_

So I said to him,

"You pop that gum one more time!"

And he did.

So I took the shotgun off the wall and fired two warning shots.

Into. His. Head.

_He had it comin'!_

_He had it comin'!_

_He only had himself to blame!_

_If you'd have been there,_

_If you'd have seen it,_

_I betcha you would have done the same!_

I met Noah Puckerman in Lima

About two years ago

And he told me he was single

And we hit it off right away.

So, we started living together.

He'd go to work, he'd come home,

I'd fix him a drink, we'd have dinner.

And then I found out

"Single" he told me?

Single my ass.

Not only was he taken,

Oh no.

He had six girlfriends.

One of those players, you know.

So that night,

When he came home,

I fixed him his drink as usual.

You know some guys just can't hold their arsenic

_He had it coming!_

_He had it coming!_

_He took a flower in its prime!_

_And then he used it!_

_And he abused it!_

_It was a murder,_

_But not a crime!_

Now I'm standing in the kitchen

Carving up the chicken for dinner

Minding my own business

When in storms my husband Finn

In a jealous rage

"You been screwin' St. James,"

He said. He was crazy.

He kept screamin'

"You been screwin' St. James!"

And then he ran into my knife.

He ran into my knife ten times.

_If you'd have been there,_

_If you'd have seen it,_

_I betcha you would have done the same!_

What am I doing here?

They say my lover

Held down my Artie

While I chopped off his head

But it isn't true

I am innocent

I don't know why they say I did it

I tried to explain

But they didn't understand me

Yeah, but did you do it?

AH, AH, not guilty!

_He had it coming…_

My sister, Frannie and I

Had this double act

And my husband, Sam

Traveled around with us.

Now, for the last number in our act,

We did twenty acrobatic tricks.

One, two, three, four, five,

Splits, spread eagles,

Back flips, flip flops,

One right after the other.

Well, this one night

We were in the Hotel Cicero

The three of us

Boozin' and havin' a few laughs

When we run out of ice.

So I went out to get some.

I come back,

Open the door

And there's Frannie and Sam

Doing Number Seventeen-

The Spread Eagle.

I was in such a state of shock

I completely blacked out

I can't remember a thing

It wasn't until later

When I was washing the blood off my hands

I even knew they were dead

_They had it coming_

_They had it coming_

_They had it coming all along_

_I didn't do it_

_But if I'd done it_

_How could you tell me I was wrong?_

I loved Will Schuester

More than I could possibly say

He was a real artistic guy

Sensitive

A singer

But he was always trying to find himself

He'd go out every night

Looking for himself

And on the way

He found

Terri,

Shelby,

April,

And

Holly,

I guess you can say

We broke up

Because of artistic differences

He saw himself as alive

And I saw him dead

_They had it comin'!_

_They had it comin'!_

_They had it comin' all along!_

'_Cause if they used us,_

_And they abused us,_

_How could you tell us_

_That we were wrong?_

You pop that gum one more time!

Single my ass.

Ten times!

I don't know why they say I did

Number Seventeen-The spread eagle

Artistic differences

_Pop_

_Six_

_Squish_

_Ah, Ah_

_Cicero_

_Schuester_

_**AN: Hope you enjoyed this little crossover-type fic. In case you were wondering who the murderesses were, or couldn't figure them out, this is who:**_

_** Pop- Tina**_

_** Six- Santana**_

_** Squish- Rachel**_

_** Ah, Ah- Brittany**_

_** Cicero- Quinn**_

_** Scheuster- Emma**_

_**I know the chronology of the relationships got screwed with but I don't care. Review please!**_


End file.
